SUNDAY AFTERNOON, THERE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL

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Among things I love at the moment:

THIS GUY

His name? Skoff

His Modus Operandi? FREE ART - to perfect the art of giving.


Basically, he is a Chicago artist who hides copious amounts of art around the city on random days, then gives hints on how to find them. If you are lucky enough to locate one, you keep it.

He also posts e-mails and pictures sent in from people who now own his artwork thanks to his local 'scavenger hunts.'

I am currently reading the book "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron (highly rec'd for anyone with a more creative career path in mind), and she encourages you to take two hours every week for an 'artist date.' These dates can include ANYTHING you want, so long as your 'inner artist' approves.

I think I just found my new favorite 'date' with myself. I've got a sick amount of wall space to cover in my new place.


Here are a few of my faves:

PICTURE IT...CHICAGO...SEPTEMBER 2008...

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My my my, how much difference a week can make in a gal's life.

For those of you who have never moved away from home (aside from going to college), it is a process I cannot possibly explain. With the way everything worked out back in St. Louis, I had a very small window to get my stuff together, find a place and get on up here. Therefore, I pretty much took a blind leap of faith that I would be able to find work quickly and everything would work itself out.

Well, the days kept passing me by, and all I was doing was looking, looking, looking, without much promise. While I had secured one part-time bartending gig, I was going to need quite a bit more to make ends meet (and pay for my expensive-ass car that I don't even need).

When you can't even get hired for positions you are completely overqualified for, it can be a real test. I think my breaking point may have been last Thursday, when I walked into an interview to serve food at a shitty Mexican chain restaurant and had the Manager tell me to "act peppy and spit my gum out" as he went to grab the General Manager for my SECOND interview for a SERVING position. It took EVERY ounce of willpower not to look at him and say "Are you fucking kidding me with this?"

Oh yes, this move has been a test. A test of my decisions, my self-worth, my patience, my everything. I started thinking, "Oh my god, what have I done?" for several days straight as the bills began piling up. I looked around my apartment and wondered when on Earth I would again be able to afford the little pleasures in life, like a kitchen trash can, ice cube trays and clothes hangers. A realization suddenly overwhelmed me:

I had either just done something really fucking stupid or really fucking brave.

So which one was it?? It probably all depends on who you ask. Personally, I have settled on the latter, as many positive things are finally happening, and I feel more at peace and happier than I have in a while.


And now for a mini-update:

1) CLASS IS IN SESSION! I am enrolled in Intro to Creative Nonfiction, and we had our first class last Tuesday. Class is located in the Gleacher Center (adjacent to the Sheraton & NBC towers) and it overlooks the Chicago River. Lots of different folks in the class, from all walks of life. Very refreshing. There are a couple other newcomers to Chicago, so I don't feel awkward +/or out of place. My teacher is a published author who has written several memoirs, essays, etc. After doing some research on her, I discovered she is an HIV+ mother and most of her work is about living and dealing with her condition. We already had to write an in class exercise, and I was one of the peeps who shared with the class. It felt good, and I even got a little chuckle out of the room (where humor was intended, thank God). It's exciting to be in a learning environment again....strange, I know.


2) I SECURED J-O-B #2! I never thought I would be so excited to serve Italian food and fill catering orders in my entire life, but I will be working ~35 hours/week doing just that. My boss is great, as is the staff I work with, and I've already developed a dirty little secret crush on one of the delivery drivers. He walked in (late apparently) with his hippie sunglasses, giant coffee, long wavy brown hair, black skinny jeans and hightops...and I was super intrigued. I SO wonder what his story is....

Anyway, back on subject....the whole job search is humbling and eye-opening, and I have definitely left that little comfort zone where I used to reside. I think maybe this is called 'character building' or some shit like that. I will continue to look for something more permanent that may actually use my college degree/talents/abilities, but this will do just fine in the meantime. Plus, I get a free tasty meal everyday. Sayonara ramen noodles and tuna fish.


3)OLD FRIENDS, NEW FRIENDS, ROOMMATES & EVERYTHING ELSE! So last weekend was the time when everyone I know decided to come up to the city. My girlfriends from college, my guy friends from highschool and my good buddy Phil were all milling about, and it was so great to see some familiar faces. I got to dance to some shitty DJ with my ladies on Friday night after work, and then on Sunday, Phil and I played Paper Boy and Mario Bros. on a Nintendo big screen and listened to an indie hip-hop group sing about sandwiches and perform a remix of The Golden Girls theme song. Estelle Getty would have been so pleased. I also ran into my favorite DJ from Austin, TX - Chicken George - and he gave me his new Chicken Soup cd. HELL to the YES.

I've befriended a girl from Louisville, KY that I bartend with on the weekends. Somehow I managed to find another semi-cynical, no bullshit, single twenty-something girl who recently relocated to Chicago for school and can't find a job. She is way into music and let's me drag her to shows, while also introducing me to some stuff I've never heard. At the least, we always seem to have an adventure when we go out. She tends to attract random, stray guys who won't leave her alone, so I just follow behind and shoo them away. Hehe. Last night we ended up dancing until 4am....there may or may not have been glowsticks and Elvis sunglasses involved. ((ick!))

Lastly, my second (and final) roommate arrives on Monday. WELCOME TO CHICAGO MEGHANN! You are gonna love this place.


Since I usually sign off with a visual, I won't break tradition. Back home I used to have recurring dreams I was falling from really tall buildings (and the occasional tree). The other night I had a dream I was flying from them. It was a lovely change.

PHUN WITH FOTOSHOP

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After befriending a guy up here with some seasoned Photoshop skills (and DJ skills might I add), I've decided to accept his offer to share his knowledge. He has given me two lessons now, and I am still millions of pixels away from getting it down, but I sure am having fun messing around with it.

Just some stuff I put together using a few photos I took around town a few days ago.



[flutterby]




















[yes,trees]




















[booduh]

MOON RIVER (not wider than a mile)

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I jogged through downtown Chicago tonight. Running usually lifts my spirits, releases any stress and brings immediate piece of mind. On this particular evening, however, I just felt discouraged. Lonely. Confused. Restless. All emotions I expected to settle in eventually after my move, but none of which I felt like sifting through yet.

So I slowed down, eventually to just a walk. I wandered the city and began to question, for the first time, my decision to move to this place. The little fish/big pond was getting to me, at least professionally. All I do all day long is search for work, and it isn't clear if I will have enough money to pay for my class that begins next week, which is a giant piece of this whole scattered puzzle. I walked and walked and walked, hoping the more unfamiliar territory I covered, the more it would feel like I belong here.

I brought a camera with me to catch dusk on a Chicago September evening, so as I neared home, I stopped on the bridge to take some pictures of the city. I leaned over the rail and stared at the river. I wondered, naively perhaps, if the river connects to the Mississippi in some capacity or another.

I watched the reflection of the buildings on the water. I thought about the Mississippi, and the way it reflects the Arch. I thought about home and my family. I thought about the old bar, and my former 'family' there. I thought about my dog and Crazy Bowls & Wraps. I thought about my favorite counter guy at Jimmy John's. I thought about the Royale and how the randomness of the menus always seemed to match the random music playing. I thought about the voice in my old elevator, Ellie as I called her, and the cheerful way she used to say "Gewing Up!" as the doors closed. I thought about my friends, and the way we used to see each other, before life and a multitude of other things clouded everything up.

I stared down at the water, searching for my own reflection...instead I just watched the images of the buildings wave and ripple in the wind. I thought about the way things are now, the way I am now. Everything is so different. I wondered if I had changed or if everyone else did. Or if we had all just adapted and reacted as best we could to circumstance, and this is just the way life goes...in waves and ripples.



[some of my city seconds on camera]

LIST O' CRAIG

after all the apartment/job hunting, i hope 2009 brings many, many days SANS craigslist.

until then, at least i can have a good giggle every now & again.

my comments are below in [brkts].

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haunted house partner?

Reply to: gigs-832831832@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-08, 2:58PM CDT


I am looking for someone who wants to open a haunted house with me (not this year). I don think I need to write much more. If you have the haunt bug (you know who you are!!) lets talk and see if it will work. Thankx
Pete

[the haunt bug? you're probably gonna wanna get that checked out, pete. maybe there is a medical study posted somewhere on craigslist you can reply to instead of reading through the thousands of responses that will soon be flooding your inbox.]

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just looking for a quick hj tonight $80

Reply to: gigs-843917434@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-17, 1:02AM CDT


just looking for a quick hand job from a female. no massage or anything else just about 10 minutes of your time. i am near irving park and central if that helps. $80 send a pic. thanks

[$80 for 10 minutes?? i'm going to pretend i didn't think twice about this one.]

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SHAVE ME (North Side)

Reply to: gigs-842316989@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-15, 8:17PM CDT


Seeking hot female to shave me. I think you know where. Please be skilled and experienced in this area. Contact me if you think you might be who I'm looking for.

[Females only....DON'T SHAVE ME, BRO!]

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Bartender Wanted for Busy Chicago Bar

Reply to: job-827377016@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-04, 3:27PM CDT


Crabbby Kim's is seeking energetic and personable female bartenders to work our bar. We are known for our great food and hot bartenders who wear bikinis. Ladies who feel great in a bikini need to apply!

In Person:
Crabbby Kim's Bikini Sports Bar
3655 N Western Ave
Chicago, IL 60618
**Stop in between 2pm and 1am M-F ask for Paul and please bring a bikini**

[Answer: Bikini, Food and Crabby; Question: What are three words that should never be included in one craigslist post?]

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Cute hipster kid eating a veggie taco - m4m

Reply to: pers-843926804@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-17, 1:25AM CDT


You were riding your metallic blue, red, and yellow bike and eating a veggie taco. We talked about how you almost got ran over by a bus.

I should have asked you out.

[sounds like the lyrics to the next Black Kids song to me]
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drug screening at chicago and ogden - m4w 29

Reply to: pers-843652459@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 10:12PM CDT


hope u passed your test. would like to meet u for coffee or drinks.

[if you didn't, heroin behind a dumpster later?]
___________________________________________________________________



AAAHHHH...GOODNIGHT LIST 'O CRAIG...I'LL SEE YA IN THE MORNING.

A SUPPOSEDLY FUN THING I SUPPOSE I'LL DO AGAIN SOMEDAY

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after working in the nightlife industry for a few years, today is what is usually considered SUNday FUNday. however, it seemed to be lacking two very vital ingredients when i woke up:

SUN/FUN

it's been pouring for days straight, and the weather was not only depressing, but it sliced the beer garden crowd/my tips in half last night. i lay in bed and watched the rain out my window for what seemed like an eternity. eventually, i made some coffee, opened my computer and began reading about the damage hurricane ike caused this weekend. i immediately felt remorse for my selfishness. nothing like a side of guilt with my morning coffee.

i hoped for something randomly uplifting as i poked aimlessly around the internet and instead sunk even lower. i get the NY Times book updates delivered to my inbox, and today it informed me that David Foster Wallace was found dead at age 46 in his california home. cause of death - suicide.

DFW is a postmodern writer who is known for his satiric, brutally honest and darkly humorous fiction novels, short stories and personal essays. i've read several of his essays out of "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," and, ironically, very recently added his 1996 novel, "Infinite Jest" to my long list of books i must read if i ever want to really make a go of this writing thing.

my curiosity raced...how could someone so intelligent and ahead of so much and so many feel that he had no more to share? were there really no more truths to tell when he had so many here to listen? it didn't make sense. not today...not any day. i spent the next couple hours reading more about him...his work...his fans...his life. i eventually found this pulled from one of his short stories:

‘’I've just never liked it,'’ one of his characters says of poetry. ‘’It beats around bushes. Even when I like it, it’s nothing more than a really oblique way of saying the obvious.'’ To which her friend replies, "But consider how very, very few of us have the equipment to deal with the obvious."

reading this left me feeling strangely helpless. especially since all i can imagine lately is finding a life where everyone deals with the obvious and not the falsehoods we spout on a daily basis convincing each other that if life looks fantastic to those on the outside looking in, then certainly it must be.

as i put away my computer, i decided since there was zero opportunity left for sun in the day, maybe fun wasn't entirely out of the question. a few days ago, i agreed to have dinner [spanish tapas] with the guy who took me to the dj afterhours on friday night. we met my first night out in chicago, after he commented that i should take off my hat. when i asked why, he said he was curious what my hair was like underneath. i made sure to go hat-less on this particular evening.

as the night drew on, i was happy to have obliged. the food was outstanding, as was the sangria, and the conversation was never strained or uncomfortable. he was complimentary and accommodating, smart and interesting. he asked more personal questions of me in one night then had been asked in my entire last relationship. go figure.

alas, the more he inquired, the more i realized why i moved here in the first place. for the time being, i like my anonymity. i have a lot of self-exploration to do...a lot of unanswered questions. i want to learn to deal with the obvious, but i'm not quite sure what that means yet. other than i cannot begin answering questions to someone else when i was still drawing blanks to myself.

as he dropped me back home, i accepted his kiss on the cheek and thanked him for the lovely evening. as i walked toward the door to my apartment, i made peace with the obvious. i was no more ready date again as i was ready to endure another rainy, dreary chicago day. i glanced at the sky as the door slammed shut, and thankfully, noticed there were no rain clouds in sight.

i will date again soon, and i suppose it will be fun. until then, i'll just be the girl, in the hat, with the curious hair.

HOLY FUCK

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a proper name for this entry, no doubt.

i was awakened out of a groggy sleep around noon today with a phonecall from my girlfriend who is out in las vegas for the weekend. she said, "you are never going to believe my night last night." i responded with, "neither are you."

i would be lying if i said that when i moved up to chicago, i wasn't hoping to stumble into some people that would show me the city. like REALLY show me the city. not all of the touristy, Gino's East-type crap...i've done all of that over the years. i wanted the random stuff, the underground stuff. the stuff that makes people move here and never look back.

i somehow managed to picture myself living through last night....before i ever even moved out of st. louis.

since i arrived, i've been lucky to run into some cool people and have some interesting occurrences in a short amount of time. last night was no exception and may have created some new rules for which to live by.

i began my day hungover from 10+ beers the night before at a few random hole in the walls with an old college friend. by the time i showered and got to work at 3:30pm, i was feeling better but still fighting off a headache. my co-worker, recently relocated from louisville, convinced me to head out after we got off around 9pm.

we walked down the street, in the pouring rain, to split a slice of chicago pizza. then we headed to subterranean for some raggae/dub/dancehall. subterranean is my new/first favorite hangout spot in chicago. it doubles as a live music venue up and bar/club down below. after grabbing a complimentary red stripe, i asked the guy at the door who was playing upstairs, and he mentioned Poison Arrows and Holy Fuck.

ummmm...Holy Fuck.

I forgot Holy Fuck was tonight. HOLY FUCK.

My co-worker had never heard of them before, and rather than drag her up there blind (and drag her back out half-deaf), i explained that they were 'noisy' and 'experimental' to say the least and probably not for every ear. i remembered that my iPod was in my purse, so i let her have a quick listen to their album, and she was sold.

so we went upstairs, grabbed a couple PBR tallboys and found a perfect spot by the wall in the front row (right next to the camera man).

what happened after that is unable to be relayed properly in words. unless i could somehow attach my eardrums/retinas to this blog. i have never quite seen so much energy in one room, both on stage and in the crowd. i couldn't take my eyes off the stage for a second, except for the occasional glance around to make sure everyone else was catching all of this. and boy, were they. the crowd was an unlikely mix of mass chaos and utter syncronization, as there wasn't a single person in the room that wasn't moving/bobbing/jumping to the music.

while i enjoyed their first self-titled LP enough, this was an act needed to be witnessed firsthand. walking out of that show, i have a complete new appreciation for butter knives, casio keyboards and creating electronic music using anything and everything but computers. including that little antique film/tape thing...whatever that thing was.

after the show, we caught last call downstairs at The Cold Sweat, and i got a text from this guy i met the week before about an afterhours set at a loft building. complete with 'password' entry, no less. we were up for anything since we were both foreign to the idea of a 2am closing time.

we followed them downtown and walked through some random alley, still in the pouring rain, until we were greeted by a large gentleman outside a door marked "Z." my new friend shook his hand, threw out the password and we wandered upstairs toward the thumping music.

the next hour and a half felt like something out of a movie. everyone in the building looked as if they just stepped out of the pages of NYLON Magazine and the night was littered with breakdancers, dj's, impromptu hip-hop performances and $2 PBR's.

after chatting with the owner of the space, i learned they do this kinda deal rather frequently. the whole building is mostly used for commercial purposes, so the noise isn't a problem. and on days when they aren't throwing parties, they use the space for recording/practicing/etc.

i left the building around 3:45am with a strange smile on my face. this was the kind of shit i moved up here for.

ya...this was home now, and, holy fuck, i couldn't be happier.

NO LONGER IN BETWEEN TWO STATES

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greetings. and welcome to my head.

i invite you to come in and take a look around. if you like what you see, make yourself at home and stay a while. it may seem a little cluttered and scattered at times, but sift through, and maybe you find something worth taking with you when you leave.

i don't mind. in fact, i encourage it.


my story (in its simplest mathematical form):

+ career change/wanderlust

- home/relationship/citylove

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= relocation to CHICAGO



so here i am.

what follows is the rest of my story...in anything but its simplest mathematical form.





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