LIST O' CRAIG

after all the apartment/job hunting, i hope 2009 brings many, many days SANS craigslist.

until then, at least i can have a good giggle every now & again.

my comments are below in [brkts].

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haunted house partner?

Reply to: gigs-832831832@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-08, 2:58PM CDT


I am looking for someone who wants to open a haunted house with me (not this year). I don think I need to write much more. If you have the haunt bug (you know who you are!!) lets talk and see if it will work. Thankx
Pete

[the haunt bug? you're probably gonna wanna get that checked out, pete. maybe there is a medical study posted somewhere on craigslist you can reply to instead of reading through the thousands of responses that will soon be flooding your inbox.]

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just looking for a quick hj tonight $80

Reply to: gigs-843917434@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-17, 1:02AM CDT


just looking for a quick hand job from a female. no massage or anything else just about 10 minutes of your time. i am near irving park and central if that helps. $80 send a pic. thanks

[$80 for 10 minutes?? i'm going to pretend i didn't think twice about this one.]

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SHAVE ME (North Side)

Reply to: gigs-842316989@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-15, 8:17PM CDT


Seeking hot female to shave me. I think you know where. Please be skilled and experienced in this area. Contact me if you think you might be who I'm looking for.

[Females only....DON'T SHAVE ME, BRO!]

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Bartender Wanted for Busy Chicago Bar

Reply to: job-827377016@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-04, 3:27PM CDT


Crabbby Kim's is seeking energetic and personable female bartenders to work our bar. We are known for our great food and hot bartenders who wear bikinis. Ladies who feel great in a bikini need to apply!

In Person:
Crabbby Kim's Bikini Sports Bar
3655 N Western Ave
Chicago, IL 60618
**Stop in between 2pm and 1am M-F ask for Paul and please bring a bikini**

[Answer: Bikini, Food and Crabby; Question: What are three words that should never be included in one craigslist post?]

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Cute hipster kid eating a veggie taco - m4m

Reply to: pers-843926804@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-17, 1:25AM CDT


You were riding your metallic blue, red, and yellow bike and eating a veggie taco. We talked about how you almost got ran over by a bus.

I should have asked you out.

[sounds like the lyrics to the next Black Kids song to me]
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drug screening at chicago and ogden - m4w 29

Reply to: pers-843652459@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-16, 10:12PM CDT


hope u passed your test. would like to meet u for coffee or drinks.

[if you didn't, heroin behind a dumpster later?]
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AAAHHHH...GOODNIGHT LIST 'O CRAIG...I'LL SEE YA IN THE MORNING.